Posted on 1-2-2002

 New Experience - Illegal Operation
by Michael Smith*

"You have performed an ILLEGAL OPERATION, the program will be shut down!"
But I didn't do anything! Really, I was just sitting here. :-(

You did update Windows, right? And have the current drivers for all of your
other hardware and software, don't you? How important is it? Well if you
are experiencing a lot of crashes this may just be the cure. Very few
people understand what happens in Windows when you install new software and
hardware.

Since Bill Gates wants to be the boss, obviously he put everything into
Windows to make it work with Microsoft products. Now all the other
companies that sell you things have to make theirs for the Gates
configuration. Some are not too good at it and some are just careless. For
those you get the Blue Screen of Death. Ever see this one? "You have
performed an ILLEGAL OPERATION, the program will be shut down!"? Then a
whole bunch of numbers and stuff even a Geek may not understand.

It's an issue of shared files not getting along in your computer. One says
"I am going to decide how this operation is done" and the other one says
"no you're not!" So the one with the newest info may win but you get blamed
for it because the program didn't do it the "Gates Way" and the result is
that the program could not start.

Now you get a new program out of the box, put it on your computer and guess
what? The program probably has a whole ton of updates available to make it
get along with Windows. Windows has a whole bunch of new updates to screw
with the other companies but "You performed an ILLEGAL OPERATION". Feel a
little insulted? I do. Then there are some companies that really don't want
your computer to cooperate with Windows. They want a piece of the Giant and
guess who pays for it? Yup, we do.

I won't mention any names but AOL and Netscape are 2 of the biggest
offenders. After that comes Real Player and a list a mile long. But let's
not make the problem too simple. Several companies are out to get each
other and at your expense. Yeah, right. They tell you it is someone else
that is the cause and that company swears that it is another one. So here
you are caught in the middle and nobody has bothered to tell you that
something as simple as downloading the latest updates and drivers just
might solve the problems they are busy blaming each other for.

Here are a couple of solutions for you. First try and find out what all
your hardware is. Printers are easy, the name and model are on the front.
But what about your CD ROM, Audio System, and monitor? A lot of times, they
just don't have that information available. Yup even keyboards can have
updated drivers. Drivers? Updates? Hardware? Software?

All of your Hardware runs with Drivers. You can find out the model
information and a lot more about them from the "Control Panel". From your
START button find SETTINGS, click on that then CONTOL PANEL. Once in the
CONTROL PANEL scroll down to SYSTEM and double click. The first window will
give you the information on the maker of the computer and Processor plus
how much Memory you have installed and the version of Windows you have.

Next click on the DEVICE MANAGER tab. You will see a listing of the DEVICES
in your computer. By clicking the + beside each item you can see what you
need to find out what the product is. You don't need to open the SYSTEM
DEVICES unless you are just curious. Now you get to play detective. Go get
'em, Columbo!

In most cases you can just do a search for the manufacturer and go straight
to their site. Drivers will usually be found under SUPPORT and should have
download and installation instructions. You should check for updates at
least every 6 to 8 weeks if not more often. Software updates are not as
hard. Most of the programs have a link in the Help menu to go to their site
and some even have an update link.

But before you start updating 3rd party software (Not Microsoft), you
should get the latest updates for your version of Windows. Hey, guess what?
Gates made this one easy! Click on the START button then go up near the top
of the column and you will see Windows Update. Sheer genius! Just click it.
You will have to be connected to the Internet first. When the browser opens
just click on the Products Updates and your computer will be searched for
what needs to be updated. From there it is only a matter of following
pretty simple instructions (simple? from Microsoft?). It really is pretty
easy to do.

One more little thing before I leave you with all this confusion. I use a
program for all my Software that isn't Microsoft from ZDNet called, you
guessed it, Updates. updates.cnet.com There is a small download and then it
will search your hard drive and give you a report of all available updates
for your software. Then you have the option to download the updates. Best
of all it is FREE! Subscribe, download the program, get your updates and
they'll e-mail you a reminder to keep up with them.

Your life will be a lot easier and maybe you won't see so many of "The Blue
Screen of Death" or "You have performed an ILLEGAL OPERATION, the program
will be shut down!" Cause ya didn't. It ain't your fault.

Mike Smith, esm

* Mike Smith, of CM/YMTC, http://cmymtc.com