Posted on 18-8-2004

Dumb Assets

*How GW got elected President (and why we cant write him off in the next
election either)**...*

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in
our air and water that are doing it."
--Al Gore, Vice President
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"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix."
--Dan Quayle
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"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"
-- (Former Exec GM, CEO Chrysler & Pepsi Cola) Lee Iacocca
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"The word 'genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like
Norman Einstein."
-- Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback &sports analyst.
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"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of
people."
-- Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instrutor.
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"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
--Bill Clinton, President
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"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
--Al Gore, VP (damn he's smart)
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"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received
notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there
is a change in your circumstances."
--Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina
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"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they
to to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the
next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record."
--Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman
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Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever,
because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever,
but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,"
--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.
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"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world,
I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with
all those flies and death and stuff."
--Mariah Carey
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"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of
your life,"
--Brooke Shields, during an interview to become Spokesperson for federal
anti-smoking campaign.

*And how John Howard got elected as PM of Australia...
*"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."
--Keppel Enderbery