Posted on 18/12/2001

Subaman Marston

I regret to report that, soon after may 50th birthday, I have been
diagnosed with AAADD. Thats Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. Some
of you will have already worked this out as I have already suffered the
slings and arrows of your politically incorrect comments about my problem.
I can only hope that you are spared this misfortune in your own lives.

The effects of AAAD are quite deabilitating and have a pronounced effect on
my life. For instance yesterday morning I decided to change the oil in the
car, well I think it was yesterday morning - mind you it could
have been tueday last week. Anyway. I started off to the garage but I
noticed some mail on the table. OK, I was on my way to to work on the car.
BUT FIRST I decided just to have a quick look through the mail. So, I
put my car keys down n the table. Half an hour later after going through
all the pamphlets and discarding the junk mail, I noticed that the rubbish
bag was full. OK - I decided to put a couple of overdue bills on my desk in
the office.

BUT FIRST I'll take the rubbish out to the bin out at the gate, but since
I'm going to be in the office I'll write out some cheques for the overdue
bills so that when I get the car going I can take them down to the post
shop and post them. But Where is my chequebook? Ahhh - its in my car with
my wallet and cell phone. I'll get it when I go out to change the oil. I
couldn't write the cheques out just now anyway because I can't seem to find
my glasses and without them I cant read the bills. Hmmmmm, there is my
empty cup from last night on the desk. I'm going to go out to the car for
the chequebook. I alo need to find my glasses, where did I put them?

BUT FIRST I need to put the cup back in the kitchen. I head for the
kitchen, and on the way I look out a window and notice that some pot plants
are dying due to lack of water. I can't stand plants in that condition can
you? - Its like torture - I have to water them. I put the cup in the
kitchen and there on the bench are my glasses. What the hell are they doing
here? I'll just put them away.

BUT FIRST, I need to water those plants. I head for the door pasing by the
TV and video. I taped a movie last night - well I thought I did. I was in a
hurry to go out at the time. I should just check to see it it recorded
properly but I can't find the remote to turn the TV on and, also, I can't
seem to find the video remote. I'll just find the remotes, put them back on
the coffee table and then I'll water the plants.

BUT FIRST, I need to get the cheque book from the car. The car. There was
something I was going to do with the car. Don't worry about that now I have
plants to water - there is so bloody much to do! Which reminds me I am
waiting for an important email and I have to go past the office where my
computer is.

BY THE END OF THE DAY: The oil in the car has not been changed, the bills
are still unpaid, the cup is still in the sink, the cheque book is still in
the car with my cell fone and wallet -well I think they are there but I
could have left them on the table at my friend's when I was there a couple
of days ago. Besides I only have one cheque left and there were three
bills. Anyway I cant find my car keys. And, when I try to figure out how
come nothing got done today, I'm baffled because. I KNOW I WAS BUSY ALL
DAY! I realize this condition is serious. I am getting help. BUT FIRST I
need to check my email again.

By the way, the doctor told me that this disease is highly contagious and
that it can be transmitted by e-mail. So if you want to avoid AAADD, don't
read this e-mail. (I meant to put this warning at the beginning of the
message but I got distracted. Sorry!)

Many Christmas and a calm New Year