Posted on 11/12/2001

Aucklanditis


* You make over $100,000pa and still can't afford a house


* You don't just drive to work, you drink your morning double short out
of your four cup expresso machine, apply mascara, take your vitamins,
demist your designer sunglasses, surf between bfm and the latest cd on
your stereo AND check your messages.


* $11 is pretty reasonable for a drink


* You ALWAYS use caller ID


* The last time you washed your own car it was at Wash World and you
couldn't find the eftpos machine


* Your rubbish consists of 2 recycle bins full of bottles and half a bin
of takeaway boxes


* You ALWAYS, sort your rubbish


* You never bother looking at the bus timetable because you know the
drivers have never seen it.


* You order organic fruit and veggies online, but eat out every night
anyway


* You spend more money on your coffee machine than on your washing
machine


* You spend $200+ for your room in an apartment with stunning
harbour/beach Views and European appliances; and then spend a total of 40
hours each week there (37 of which you are sleeping)


* You wear 3 nicotine patches every day but smoke anyway


* You know every good place for brunch


* You contemplate calling a taxi from your home to where you managed to
park the car the night before (but you can't remember where you parked
it)


* You spend 30-60 minutes in a traffic jam next to a car with more power
to its speakers than its wheels


* You know everyone's email address and mobile number but not their last
name or home address


* You can roll sushi, make pasta and keep your red curry paste recipe
under lock and key... but couldn't roast a chicken or mash potatoes to
save your life


* Your taxi driver was a heart-surgeon before shifting to Auckland


* Your co-worker tells you he/she has eight body piercings but none are
visible


* You've been to more than one baby shower that has two mothers and a
sperm donor


* You have a very strong opinion where your coffee beans are grown and
can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian


* A really great parking space can move you to tears


* You are thinking of taking an adult class but you can't decide between
yoga, aromatherapy, conversational Italian, or building your own website


* You can spend hours discussing the traffic and cars with no-one visible
behind the wheel


* Your hairdresser is straight, your plumber is gay, your cleaner has a
pager and your barman is a drag queen


* You are genuinely surprised when you meet someone who was actually born
in Auckland </bold>